My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
