coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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