12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
