Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
