I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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