jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
