Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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