I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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