So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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