Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
