Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
