also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
