Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
