Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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