aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
