Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My ass is underappreciated
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
