Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
