doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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