u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
