Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's like heaven, but drunker
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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