just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
