Moan for me like Helen Keller
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
