I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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