Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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