ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
