dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
