how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
