You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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