I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish i was in the wii world.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
