Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
