I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
