I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
