Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's like iHOP with fire
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
