Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just tell him i said nine months
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
