I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i think i just lost a toe
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
