dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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