hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
