The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
