Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
