so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
