She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
