I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
