You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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