she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
