Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
