she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
