FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
