I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
