Midget sex pt 2 tonight
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
