10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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