Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
