Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
